Updates

Hi dear friends who read this very non-happening blog. I will be entering into army tomorrow so my posts would be even more irregular.

Do keep me in prayer as I believe I will relive old fears.

Anyway the law interview on April 9 went terribly. Was asked whether a man who suffered a heart attack would be obliged to pay a passer-by doctor $1000(market rate). My views were: well he is not obliged, but I didnt know how to complete my sentence. I guess it was nerves which led to a mental block. Oh well, maybe next year I'll try again, with more preparation. It's a painful lesson well learnt.

Army here I come!

A Lifestyle Changed

Once we realise that our lives and all that we have belong to God, and surrender our lives' ambitions and plans to Him, we have truly learnt to live life to the fullest.

I am all sold out for Him now. Yet I know I'm worth no less than purest gold.

You sought me out

among the multitudes

given me a hope

beyond despair

A mouthpiece

to the lost

is my heart's cry

but first, O God

heal my heart.

Busy as can be

Bees work non stop, almost never resting. I feel the same way too. University admissions and applying for scholarships are too much of a chore. (what more work.family.church) And I can't reject my friends who want me to write recommendations from them can I? Jesus never said it would be easy to be His witness in the world, but that He will be with us and lift us up. I believe the things I reap would ultimate bear fruit during harvest time.

I'm extremely excited as I received a call from SMU informing me that I have an interview on April 9, which is Ee Ling's birthday, at the Faculty of Law, Seminar room 3-3. I actually forgot the time I am to report so I'll wait for the confirmation via email. Is this the path that You want me to take o God? I would feel very miserable if I went for it and didn't get through. I'm going to fast and pray about it.

I felt really depressed, when I went back home, no one bothered to ask how I did or even acknowledge my presence at all. Dinner was extremely disappointing, but I can't blame my mum, she had a terrible day at work, doing some manual labour for less than 5 bucks for a whole day. So after dinner I went around trying to get a decent meal, and saw a guy biting or licking his girlfriend's hair in broad daylight at the food court. I guess such things occur so that we bystanders can really laugh at them and ruefully feel better. My expectations run counterwise to reality, and I thought they cared. Not even a pinch of concern coming from ___,___ and ___.

God's goodness

Even through the storms and struggles and sins that I had to go through in 2008, God has been faithful. I see now the reason why He has placed me in MJC, where I can do well, instead of some other top notch JCs... How undeserving I am, yet God has given me quite a good set of grades, and what can I say but tremble in awe of His marvellous provision. I got Bs for Gp and Literature(H2), the rest As.

Now boggled down by the complexity of university admissions...And having lots of problems trying to figure out how to apply for SATs, so that I may stand a chance to get into Law.

A day of many occurences

Yesterday, there were so many disparate events that happened and overall it was a bad, bad day.

1. Met Stephanie Sun Yan Zi at a Holland Village medical clinic (at Silver Cross and she really disguised herself well, an aunty pointed her out to me before I realised that the dark, bony, tall girl with dark long fairly highlighted hair was the singer herself)
2. Told to go through a typhoid injection (and all this while I have been handling tea without a permit? )
3. Saw a group of ten guys buy bubble tea after a pretty girl bought a few with her mum from my shop. (must I say how amused I were, even though they were from ACS-International, they still seem quite infantile in their thinking. )
4. Given a lecture by my uncle about my obsession with Christianity (not the first time, but this time I made my stand clear )
5. Observed real terrible business and really sultry faces on everyone in boon tong kee. (thus I had to lower down my tone and optimistic expression)
6. Met Sandy while working at Boon Tong Kee (hahaha quite embarassing and funny)
7. Missed a stop and had to pay 10 cents more. ( All due to Short term memory! I thought I left my ezlink card on the seat and went back up to the 2nd level only to remember that it is on my bag's pocket. And so that 1 mistake cost me a lot)
8. Had a conversation with Jun Hao. Am worried and discouraged by his response, which led me think about how terrible I am in discipling people.

And I really enjoyed Valentine's day with my cell group. With Sybil and Joy, with Glenn, with Cornelius's family and with Cheryl, though it was a few precious minutes.

The joys and pains of serving God

I really enjoy saturdays and sundays, for this is the time that I can restore myself after slogging so hard for the entire week. I taught my cell group, Petra bible study on the topic: Applying God's Word into my life. Although I was jittery at the start since Ee Ling was there(stress), overall the lesson went quite smoothly(according to her:)). Hoped the point was driven across that God's Word is not boring if studied properly using SPACEPETS.

Grateful for God that He has brought Jasper, my 13 year old cousin to church with me. Really surprised to see him because his father is quite against Christianity for some reason. He joined my YPMS class and I hoped he made new friends and will continue to meet up with them and ultimately come to the saving knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Also thank God for the Petra core group meeting I had after church. Frankly, it was one of the more enlightening and encouraging meeting we had. Was clarified about certain nagging doubts once and for all, was he really sincere in the first place? My heart was broken when I knew what the leaders are going through yet at the same time I am stirred by their passion for their sheep, that they are still clinging on inspite of it. Reminds me of my family, which is supposed to be a place where love abounds, but choked with all kinds of malice, apathy and negligence.

God as you have entrusted Cornelius, Terence and Jun Hao unto me, help me to be accountable for them. I forsee so many obstacles and hardened hearts. Only You can tenderise their hearts. And also I am encouraged by Jeremy, Samuel, Glenn, Jun Hao, Sandy, Krystel's faithfulness in serving in YPMS. Help me to know them better too, I see some unpolished gems :)

Time to update!

As the Chinese spruce up their house with the dawn of the new year, I am going to embark on this tedious mission of updating the missing links and bits and pieces of my life.

Updates - on work
No longer working as an administrative staff at Campus Crusade for Christ. Kudos to no more bloodshot eyes but a hard burn to my pocket! Instead I'm working at my uncle's bubble tea shop. It was really God's special arrangement that my uncle happened to ask me to help him when I JUST ended my admin work! WoAh, God answered my prayer before I asked for it. Though the pay sucks ( at 3.50/hr as a trainee, 4/h this week, 4.5/h next week), it is a blessing in disguise as I have received a 20/hr tuition assignment from an aunty working there and the chance to bring a Vietnamese boy/guy to church next Sunday (prayerfully)

Yup, I started giving math tuition to Sybil and Joy at Bedok Reservoir road this sunday. It was initially 1 girl, but God is generous! He added one more girl so that I can be more productive in my time!

More Updates- on Ministry
Young People Ministry (Sunday) is more demanding than I thought! I have to plan lessons for every week, save for the first sunday of the month, and 5th sundays which comes quarterly. Slept at 3 -4 am on the days I did the planning and sending of lesson plans. Serving God really takes a lot of dedication and hard work. Now I realise how busy John Lam is, and yet he never fails to serve God faithfully.

Even More Updates- on Life
A tired body but an unrelentless spirit. Reason to lose hope yet positive. Optimistic beyond idealism. I have never felt my time more better managed and better executed. I am loving God more each day as HE surprises me with prayers answered and new opportunities to witness to people at work!

On Family
The crisis has been averted, God has prevailed and death is broken. Restoration is within sight. Salvation is here (my earnest belief, and this song has been replaying in my mind, so i guess indeed Salvation is here)

And its 2 am. Time to edit the hyperlinks

Chinese New Year Surprise

This was definitely a roller coaster Chinese New Year for me. I've seen my Chinese cousins for the first time and we managed to click quite well. I've seen my family crumble to its lowest and phew things could only get better from then.

My grandma, eldest uncle & wife, 6th uncle, eldest Aunt, my dad and mum sending off our Chinese relatives at Terminal 1. A sad scene.

Ding Shou, 2nd brother, the cheeky, playful, daring boy.

Ding Xiang, the fashionable, japanese hating, chinese trying to grasp english.

My grandma's house shall not be a gambling den! Its just a memory game-

Coerced to smile when my heart grieves

Lethargic

I am tired as of late. Have even developed true blue eye bags. I scared myself during the night when I gazed at the mirror, to see two dark hues under my eyes. The first of its kind, I better rest myself. At the right time too, when I am finally done from my admin job which is too straining for my eyes.

Workaholic

I've no time for long talk. I've nicely packed my weekdays, working from 9 to 5.30, then from 6.30 to 10.30. The former is an administrative position at Campus Crusade for Christ, then the latter is a waiter at Boon Tong Kee. Both jobs have their benefits, balancing each other off.

I'm tired, but it's worth it for my family, and I believe it opens up an opportunity for evangelism, so why not. I'm going to try to wake up at 6am to jog and train myself for an hour before I head off to work. So this is the Life.

In turbulent times, where do you go?

In turbulent times, where do you go? Who do you turn to?

Keep to yourself and hope all things work out? Like the turkey that hid its head in the hole it dug?

Or do you drown yourself in all things imaginable? Clubbing, drugging, ganging, gaming, sleeping, gluttoning, mugging, shopping, gossiping, socialising, blogging, working, grumbling?

I turn to my God, who has answered my prayers and provided for me. What my family is unable to give me, He more than supplies with a big extended family that overwhelms me with love and concern, that it is really hard to grasp it.

God, I really hope you will see through my family through this tough time, and through this, help us to trust in You. I know that You are the light at the end of the tunnel.

Shenyang Trip + thoughts

Did you ever think that I've forgotten this blog? A long recount awaits you. I went on an exciting adventure to Shenyang, China with Yun Long, his mum and aunt. That explains the long duration in which I didn't post a single entry. Jet lag, withdrawal syndrome and rashes from the cold... I needed time to recuperate and spending time on the computer isn't the best way to recover.

China, the place where the melanine incident sprang up from, the land of many thieves, of cheats and crooks, this was my destination. To the Northern Eastern part of this daunting land I proceeded, into the industrial city of Shenyang. What a welcome, a swirling tornado of gritty dust greeted me and newspaper shreds flapped at my ears. It was winter time, frigid cold and dry as rock. All the trees were hibernating, and there was hardly a shade of green unlike Singapore, except those hardy evergreens in the summer palace. The atmosphere was quite depressing, which explains why during winters, suicide rates tend to be the highest. The barreness of winter really exacerbates feelings of decay and death.

As I journeyed pass the city, I cannot ignore China's staggering rise to a global economic power. Tall, fanciful architecture arrested my eyes, again testament to the local government's endeavour to outshine its neighbouring counties. What is unsettling is that this fast pace of development is juxtaposed against slums at the parks, high levels of pollution and uncivil behaviour frequently encountered.

This is the view from my friend's apartment

Me trying to jostle with the fire, I'm a natural griller

Sitting on this piece of rock in the Summer palace with my buddy Yun Long

Apart from these general observations, I enjoyed my time snow skiing, walking around the place with my broken adidas shoe, eating (woah fantastic) and spending time with Yun Long's family. I did a lot of firsts in this trip, like eating bugs, playing with fire, witnessing a classic chinese squabble,snow skiing, doing quiet time daily during a vacation, and of course 1st Christmas spent on a plane and airport.

More importantly, through this trip God is putting a burden in my heart for the lost souls in China. Everyday I see them going through the routine, seeking after wealth, stealth and health, with no greater purpose in mind. As Yun Long's mum and 2 aunts and grandparents shared about their experiences during the CULTURAL REVOLUTION from 1958 to 1968, I realise why the Chinese are notorious for what they are now today. Books were banned and educated people massacred. During exams, answers were written on the board, and teachers are specially chosen from the worse performing candidates. (they had open answers)

Back then, they had to sing praises to Mao Zedong (they all call him lao mao now) 3 times a day and dance whenever nationalistic music is played. I found it hilarious but failure to do so is death by hanging. The scary thing was that even your friends and relatives could betray you and denounce you as a spy, so as to gain extra rations or promotions.

This I believe, led to the culture of backstabbing, ruthlessness and self-centredness we often see in chinese Chinese. But within this family I stayed with, they were very nice and I was very troubled. Even as non-Christians they could live so carefreely, as if without, we do we as Christians get choked up by the thorns of life, when we have God with us, with His mighty right arm that will deliver us. I was asking God whether God is really revelant in their lives. I left a chinese Bible in their house and hope they read it. Because after I leave, I don't think anyone will reach them with the gospel. I believe that God will touch their hearts and transform them.

The result of the 1 Child policy in 1979 :p a happy family potrait with my intrusion

Appetising, appealing? 2 of them got eaten by me, its flesh is yellow