The End of As

I declare the A levels over.

Finding Literature

"Stasis in the arts is tantamount to death." This quote by Charles Marsh aptly describes my lack of affinity in the blogosphere. Having being reminded of this degenerating blog by a friend who should be studying, I shall do myself justice this time(by writing this post) for the hard work I put in in creating this blog in the first place.

I believe with Orwell that "When language suffers, the general atmosphere must suffer as well. " Due to the lack of literary writing and practice due to my negligence, I have forgotten what it meant and felt like writing a literature essay. I have relegated it like an economics essay, or a geography essay, which is atypical and follows a tightly structured style that hinders creativity.

Whilst my grades for these 2 subjects did improve by a few grades from block test (thank God), literature has taken a drastic fall from its once glorious days. Do let me indulge in my fancies by writing this short, little allegory which I visualised on the bus a few months back(it underwent changes as I typed it). Hopefully, this comes out of my Imagining Other Worlds paper.

It scuttered out of the cracked device,
finding its new sense of freedom,
remarked breathlessly : "Brave new world,
that has such sights and smells in it"
That it vowed, "It shall be my dwelling place!"
There lies prominently, a yellow cube,
on top of the smooth marble-
deceptively deceptive.
It moves. Smells like marshmellow.
A nip or two won't do.
To stop would be a fool.
And so it does,
merrilly chewing upon its delightful find.
"What could happen?"
The yellow cube dissolves,
as with the rat.
Another success,
says the man.
Now whose the fool?

I hope you see what the yellow cube, the rat, the world and the man symbolises. I had a pre taste of laughter knowing that you have been led into thinking the yellow cube as the quintessential cheese cube, which actually turns out to be rat poison, irresistably deadly. (As with conventional thinking) Well the shift came in an inspiration, but also of a need to cut my semi poem short.

The rat would have survived if it remained in its 'cracked device', in conditions terrible in our human perception, but in a rat's world, dirt and grime, gosammer of webs, that is Christmas decorations. Likewise, I say that although in the world we live in, though it may be fraught with "sights and smells", temptations that are irresistably deadly, like the "yellow cube", we should still recline in the "crack device", which offers us a respite in this transitory life. After all, on the other side of the wall, lies a "straight and narrow" crack that only the wise and faithful rat can survive to reach, into abundant life and freedom on the fields of gold, God's heavenly kingdom.

NS medical checkup

I forfeited school for the NS medical checkup. Had to thank Andre and Louis for their company in the rather monotonous way the entire medical assessment was conducted. Pre-enlistees like us felt like batches along the production process.

The part I enjoyed most was the Vocational Assessment. It was like a series of questions you have to solve within a short time span. At first I didn't know that there is an auto-timer and I just took my own time with the 1st test, and I guess I completed less than half of it. I felt real bad, and the rest of the tests went quite well, save for the "science section", where they asked terrible questions like which direction cog 1 will move if cog 2 moves clockwise, and along with it they connect chains, numerous other cogs, and mess it all around. I would fail that session terribly.

I enjoyed the linguistic questions, its interesting but it can get mind bogging at times, as with the number pattern and instructions test.

The entire series of tests took about 3.5 hours and we had lunch there.(The food is not bad) However we regretted it as we proceeded to the bus stop which was opposite Botak Jones, which I heard offers great western food at affordable prices and a most generous portion of fries.

Near the end of the assessment I saw my old sec friend. Met up with him later and visited his house. Discussed about God and religion but he was still as obstinate as ever, but he was gracious enough to let me pray for him and his house. Ah well, I really hope that he will come to accept God willingly. He is so indulged in his own world and it can collapse any moment...

Anyway surprisingly I got a PES A for the checkup. A prelude of tough trainings to come :/

Bitter-sweet Birthday

Today was a more bitter, than sweet birthday.

Bitter as my Dad has forgotten clean about it despite reminding us that he was bringing the family out for dinner the day before. I had to call him to remind him of it, and that was awkward.
My family isn't so appreciative of me as well. My sister and brother(they just have to ruin everything) didn't even say a nice word to me all day. My heart felt numb towards their apathy. Only God's love can transform their heart that is the bile.

Now proceeds the good news, I am very happy that my beloved class A302, has managed to surprise me with a rather creamy birthday cake topped with white chocolate glaciers and assorted fruits, and nice clothes which my wardrobes need to fill. Thanks class, though I may appear somewhat nonchalant for the rest of the day, I am deeply appreciative. It is just that sometimes a sort gloom just wishes to press upon me, though I fight it.

Also many thank you's for those who wished me happy birthday and those who did not as well. Am glad that God has placed you in my life :) I also met 2 other people in school who had the same birthday as me, and one of them whom I vaguely know was sitting beside me in Literature Lecture, talk about the uncanny.

This was what I had for dinner, it was extremely filling and delicious, save for the stir fried mixed vegetables. At least it made up for the extremely oppresive car journey to Chinatown at Tam Kah Sharkfin's restaurant.

I am quite irritated as I couldn't upload the pictures onto blogger. The only one I could get was my least favourite dish, stir fried veggies. The top of it is a trace of the creative sesame fried chicken which they stuff shrimps, beancurd into it.

Structural Rigidities

Many times we are instructed to be in the exam venue 15 minutes before the paper starts. Some overly enthusiastic students flock to the venue even half an hour before the paper begins.

As for my economics case study paper today, I arrived just 5 minutes before 1pm, since the venue for all my papers would either be too hot or frigid, and arriving there later would mean less of the surroundings I have to suffer.

Although this silent rule seems to have been laid down as to prepare the students' minds before they take the paper and/or prevent students from coming late, I observe that though the latter's objective has been successfully met, the former seems to be of contention.

Instead of calming the student's mind, the drollery of waiting for the paper to begin takes on an emotional, pyschological and physical toll on the student. The act of waiting creates an air of anticipation, and when we anticipate, time seems to have ceased temporarily. This lends itself to suspense, which comes with it thoughts of every nature, of which the pessismistic ones take precedence. To pass this time, we subject ourselves by lying on desk with our hands as our pillow, impairing our ability to write as legibly or speedily due to lack of blood flowing to our hands as a result of the wait. Also, it induces a drowsiness that refuses to be snapped out when we finally are able to tackle the paper.

Another type of student who has drank coffee, I assume, will be too perky to fall into a siesta(if its the afternoon with a baking sun) and would most probably be staring at his watch, the clock and the instructions on the question paper, at frequent, punctuated, calculated intervals. This anxiety is quite a pain on the neck, since he has to rotate his head or strain his eyes, he will not be as effective as when he does the paper.

For me, I am quite versatile between the two styles- it depends really on the subject. On subjects that I am dreadful of, like say English Literature, I mourn for myself in the pretense of sleep, whereas for no brainers like Economics case study(for mid years), I can't wait for the paper to start and look around like some beggar.

When gently admonished by a friend not to be so late though I was 5 minutes early for the paper today, I replied as such, with changes due to previous grammatical errors :

I was languishing in the comfort of the library and didnt want to suffer the insufferable heat at the intolerable e block classroom, and such a thought justified me being at the exam venue at the most precise moment moment before execution, that I take much to my delight and fancy, made more by the anticipation of the culmination of the examination at the dawn of the next day, much marked my mind during my missing in action whilst you waited.

If you read carefully, it might not make sense but well tomorrow marks the finale of my mid years! Physical Geography, one of the most terrible subjects I have to behold that I feel that I allude it to the sublime of academania.

Also I thank God for the sumptuous dinner yesterday by Caleb and Serene, such a lovely couple indeed, and a extremely practical gift of Everyday with Jesus, Joy edition. I guess it was divinely inspired that I got the joy edition, for I need it ! Thank God that my sister came back home after my chastise/or lack of it and although relations are patchy and volatile, she has at least obeyed and responded to me just now, which I am grateful of.

Bittersweet

I seem to have forgotten this blog of mine. Caught in the pursuits of numerous other activities.

Time is just fleeting away, that even as I type, I can feel time slipping away, quietly, steathily.

I can't wait to attend the wedding dinner of Serene and Caleb later. This godly couple have blessed me much with their wisdom and leadership and it's a surprise that they invited me. I almost couldn't because I didnt rsvp. I didnt know what was that till i checked it just a few moments ago, rsvp= responez s'il vous plait.

Thank God the person in charge Adeline just let me off :) Haha I feel so blessed and embarassed at the same time.

I guess I have no time to prepare for my mid year papers tomorrow. I'll try my best, after all economics is a subject you can smoke through.

Mum's back!

Finally after a short month, my mum's back from China, and delayed be a day too! (the China Airline plane couldn't take off and she had to stay in Xiamen for a night to return back to Singapore)

Besides herself, she brought back tonnes of exotic fruits, like pipa, yangmei, those minicsule peaches, and the white round bean( i shall call it lotus bean until I find out its true name ) and the fantastically fragrant beef balls that is unparallel. She really brought back a tonne, paying S$400 for excess luggage. Now, thats a staggering amount.

Thank God she's alright. The news about the Sichuan Earthquake didn't really scare me, I felt peace in my heart that my mum would be safe, and indeed she is. It was quite nerve wrecking when your relatives call you and interogate you how is your mum, where she is... and to reply that you don't know how to contact her. (Since my mum is travelling with my relatives across the whole of China, I can't track down the international calling code across the provinces, it shocked me to know that China had so many codes that I immediately gave up trying to call her on her phone.) I had to vouch for her safety and I daresay I wasn't convincing enough, they were rather insistent in pressing me for more details and I had to assuage their fears, instead of the other way around. :p

Another spectacle happened. When my mum came out of the belt with her luggage, the putrid smell emanating from the luggage was too palpable, and many heads were turned to my relatives and mum's company. You see, due to the delay in takeoff, the frozen stuff my relatives brought back home had dethawed and supposedly gone bad. It was thousand times worse than the wet market. Even I couldn't stand it. A few sniffs of it triggered an impulse to simulate the act of vomitting. When told to carry some of the luggage to the car boot, I was quite reluctant but still did it. (The luggage were wet and slimy cold, mind you) Even from the back of the car, I could smell the sickening smell of things gone bad.

I was in deep anguish as the food that was brought back cannot be consumed anymore and it was made worse when my mum recounted how much food she brought back; 20 packets of the lotus bean, a huge bunch of bouncing beef balls, fruits, foie gras(too bad she didn't get it) and how these perishable food would have to be thrown away. Being the passionate food lover I am, I couldn't bear the thought of such good food gone to waste.

I prayed that God will do a miracle and preserve the food, turn it from bad to good, after all Jesus could turn water to wine. What I asked was just a reverse chemical reaction. I didn't tell my family explicitly that I have prayed for the food as I was fearful that if the bad food remained bad, it would have a dampening effect on my parents' and siblings' perception of God being a Passive God, one that cannot answer prayers or do miracles.

As it turned out the food was fine! Despite the insanely vomit-inducing smell, the food was fine and eatable! I declared how God answered my prayers and such, but they didn't really believe it. This brought me to reflect my lack of faith then, to declare there and then on the car that I will be praying that the food will be ok. Had I have done it, it would really bolster our faith! Oh well next time I won't hesitate and miss out such great opportunities to share with them the power of God.

Nonetheless, I really praised God for the miracle, and the good food that ensued that night (28th) . I ate more than 5 beef balls, and had a bowl of the lotus bean soup(the beans were overcooked I think), close to midnight. I shall see what I can bring to share with you all the little things she brought back.

Tribute to my leaders

All of us have role models to look up to, and I am really glad that God has placed so many people in my life to guide me along, influence me, encourage me, care for me, love me, although I am not much lovable nor excitable.

I am very inspired by my leaders in church, by their faithfulness and commitment to serving God and for their passion for God. Even as I begin to be involved in Ministry, and rise up the ranks to be a leader as well, in Petra as a core group member(youth ministry life group) and in Cephas as an assistant leader(sunday school ministry life group) Assistant leader for Cephas, I am constantly amazed at the people shepherding me.

There are a few very important people whom have really made a great impact in my life, and really propelled me to want to serve God and to love Him wholeheartedly. There are many of them, and thank God for placing me in Church of Singapore, where they can be a blessing in my life.

They are none other than Justin, Doreen, Ee Ling, Estella, Serene, John, Kevin, Priscilla and so many more, like Matthew Chern, maybe the current youth director.

Week after week, as I see them serve God, my heart yearns to be like them as well, and I am thankful that we are all running the same race, to become more like Christ, and that I can partake it alongside them.

I find that my sentences to have very tenuous linkages, haha don't know what happened to me, but I am brimming with joy now! I shared with my sister about Jesus after I came back from church and though she didn't seem to register anything, I know a seed has been planted in her. I will continue to sow and water the soil, and pray that God will do the rest.

Rest well dear friends!

Cabal management

These days I am spending too much of my sleeping time playing Cabal, pulverising monsters till 5am since last Sunday. I wonder what is the motivation behind it, perhaps my heart is pining for my dear parents to reconcile and to return back home. It is actually scary that you feel so accustomed to them not being there that they no longer have any bearing on your life.

I would like to thank God for really refreshing my spirit everyday, for He restores me when I am weary. I've had less than 10 hours of sleep in 4 days but apparently I can't seem to fall asleep during lessons, till as incisive as ever.

Yet all this cannot continue indefinitely, my studies I have neglected. My teachers are raising their eyebrows at all the missing assignments, late tutorials and shoddy pieces of work.

All I can say is that things will get better. Finally a post, sigh...

Sweet farewell

I sent my mum to China at Terminal 1 this morning. I guess it'll be good for her. It will be a while(a month) till we have a family reunion. How sweet will that be. Pity I won't be able to fetch her back home. Pre U Seminar.

Poetry contest, Take Part!

As the organiser of this year's Earth day which is on the 22nd of April, I have this sudden urge to compose this poem, envisaging the apocalyptic scenario Man will land himself in if he persists in destroying God's creation. Hopefully it does not come true, but it certainly serves as a cautionary tale. Try and analyse what I am trying to hint at, it is quite a tricky poem with multiple layers and perspectives. Hopefully I can enrol myself in it and win a prize for the poetry contest. Enjoy the "Thoughts of a wanderer"

Thoughts of a wanderer
They say she is gonna die,

so are we just gonna sigh?

.

The pretty little flowers

the lush grass by the roadside

the fluffy white clouds hanging-

against the blue expanse and

the bursts of light peeps through

basking her in golden hue

a canopy of colours

The Creator's masterpiece.

.

They say we ain’t gonna care,

so are we just gonna stare?

.

The tiny weenie i-pods

the metal cogs at the beach

the noxious fumes overhead-

amidst vortexes of Fren-

zy storms, Jupiter’s Red Spot

where day and night collapse.Oh-

Mankind’s very own playground.

.

They say you hafta come back,

what else more do you still lack!

.

The petite fragments of rocks

littered across the bare earth

the sun is reached with a touch.

Perpetual light blinds the sight-

place where there is no darkness

yet we see shadows. How vain

of Man to escape the mess

and make another his home.

.

I inhale from my tube and

leapt off Eville, away from her

Severing all ties- yes all!

With this dark nightmarish world

My memories are intact-

The pretty little flowers

the lush grass by the roadside

the fluffy white clouds hanging-

***********

I can’t hear them.

I’m reaching… soon…

***********

We can’t hold on anymore,

Food has n’ver run out before!

So we turn to each other

***********

The End of Man

A Respite

Wow, it has been over 2 weeks since I posted a new entry. I'm busy with Green Transport Day on 22nd April and the SLA exhibition the next day(pray that we can get the 1000 prize money!). Here is a sample of the quiz my friend qiu xuan and I set for the college. Have fun choosing the most appropiate answers!

The six main greenhouse gases are water vapor, carbon dioxide, Methane, Ozone, Chlorofluorocarbons (CFC) and _______________.

Sulphur Dioxide Potassium Oxide Sodium Hydroxide Nitrous Oxide

______ of the last thirteen years(1995-2007) rank among the warmest years since 1850.

Four Twelve Five Eleven

Climate change results in processes such as greenhouse effect and _____________ to develop.
Acid Rain Global warming the splitting of the Earth Fluidization

How many people could be homeless due to global warming by the year 2050?

5 million 150 million 1 billion 2 billion

Which lighting options produce the least amount of greenhouse gases?

Candles Normal light bulb Gold plated light bulb Compact fluorescent light bulb

______ Percent of the 5.22 million tons of waste generated yearly is being recycled.
22 36 51 67

7. Singapore ratified the Kyoto Protocol in ___________.

10 February 2004 11 March 2005 12 April 2006 13 May 2007

8. Carbon Intensity is the term used to describe the amount of C02 emitted per _________.
GDP dollar person in a country industry in a country land size of a country

9. A whooping ___________ plastic bags are used each year by Singaporeans.
750 million 1500 million 2500 million 5000 million

10. The longest dry spell (period of no rain) in Singapore lasted for ______ days.
ten twenty thirty forty

11. Singapore’s main source of energy comes from ______.
Solar energy Natural Gas Coal Crude Oil

12. The urban heat island effect (UHI) is a phenomenon whereby ______.
+ An island heats up rapidly due to the surrounding ocean bodies
+ The urban area relatively warmer than the rural areas
+ The urban area acts a heating device to warm the surrounding areas
+ An island experiences a higher temperature than a landmass not surrounded by the sea

13. Singapore contributes to ___ if the world’s C02 emissions but it is only ____ of the earth’s land surface.

0.02, 0.0000047 0.05, 0.00047 0.02, 0.047 0.05, 0.0000047

14. Which of the following is NOT an example of anthropogenic mitigation methods to reduce greenhouse gases?

Walk or cycle more – use the car less planting more trees

Use air refreshers more often implementing the “Three Rs Principle”

15. You save on average ____ of your energy bill if you turn off them when not in use.

10% 11% 12% 13%

Forgive me for the mess! I am technically untechnical.

Busiest week of all time

Despite my busyness I shall post a shall one. Was interviewed by Channel News Asia today along with my group members in the SLA Spatial Challenge. I was expected to answer back in Chinese, and given my lack of exposure for 2 years and counting, it was terrible. Ah well, I hope they edit it here and there. It could be aired next week at the evening news slots. (what a glamourous way to become infamous)

I can only ask God to sustain me through this busiest period of my life. I need more of you. Prayers highly demanded!

The HAir Scare

Since this Monday, after sporting this new ''Botak" hair of mine, I received to my extreme surprise, a blend of extreme opinions about it. So I guess it wouldn't hurt to add suggest my own reasons for on such an unconventional hairstyle for me.

Well, the first and most primary reason I did so was simply to save money in the long run. I wouldn't have to cut my hair that often now. A little savings go a long way, it just feels better.

Next, I wanted to test my friends' responses out there, hoping that they would think that I have entered NS already, well it was quite well received, they assumed it without much questioning. Whereas for those who I thought gullible, to say I was balding was another attractive alternative. (Cut my hair to minimise the signs of my balding)

A few interesting comments-
Foong Chin= You look like a monk travelling on alms, with that hair of yours and bag slouched at the back. So I was conferred the title of Xu Shifu(Pugilist Master Koh) for the training today. I treated it with much solemnity.
Someone but i forgot whom= You siao ar?! Ya, I hope you didn't have a heart attack(jokingly).

Anyway I attended this seminar yesterday- BReaking a Millionaire Code by Thomas Mathew. It was splendid, 3 hours long yet i didn't even have the time to feel drowsy. Great speaker and imparted great tips on how to indeed be a millionaire- quite easily. The youngest one he groomed turned out to be 24. I'm going to place my money in their team, IPP. I want to be a good steward of my money, to glorify my Master with what He has given me.

That should be all, please pray for me- the Wushu Taiji Quan competition on 9th April, the SLA Spatial Challenge, and VJC Economics Symposium, that I shall shine for God, no matter how insignificant I am.

-Softball-

I just witnessed a softball match by my greenhorn-ish juniors opposite my house, at East Spring Secondary School. They lost, quite badly. I couldn't keep track of how many runs they trailed behind.

Sad. They lacked the fighting spirit, the mutual encouragement and support, and the tenacity that a softball player should uniquely possess. Despite this harsh critique on them, I myself and many others have fallen prey to defeatist attitudes as well. I have great hopes for them, so for any of you softballers who may chance about your senior's blog, don't despair for it is not all doom and gloom! I believe you have untapped potential, seeing that you all just don't see yourselves that way.

I then realised how much I miss this sport, still returning to watch a match, under the relentles s sun, occupying a good one eighth of my day. This team game, that was the catalyst of many a lifelong friendships and the development of a strong willed individual that I am.

With this I pen down this poem, in memory of this sport which I can or never will sever with. And to the teammates whom have made softball the elusive sport that it is.

SWING BATTER, BATTER SWING!
From what came strangers formed an unlikely team
of talents not appreciated, demeaned.
No field of our own,
bats, gloves, nets we had to loan.
We have grown.

Terrible we were, a blatant fact
couldn't hold a bat, baffled by the act,
no wonder it led to Mr Yeo's rambling
Yes spilling on and on- numbing.
We have grown.

zhu zhu, zai zai, long long, (yun long, zai hui, shyang long)
yuan yuan, ming ming zuan, (zhen yuan, zuan ming)
shan zhu, tkt, guang sh(it) or GS, (hejun, kim tien, guang shun)
aaron, sikai, joseph. (alvin)
We have grown.

The first match- MATI!
Against Mr Yeo's own Chai Chee,
Cocky bulls they were, brawny
whilst we docile lamb, scrawny.
We have grown.

The honour of a privileged few,
The First of our kind to invade the field,
Thrice a week we strenously train.
Then picking balls from the slimy drain.
We have grown.

Year 2004 marks our foray
into the East Zone, ready to play.
With our minds rehearsed, reflexes sharpened,
Against our adversaries our emotions sullen (may be disputed)
We have grown.

A disappointing defeat by arch nemesis to be -Damai,
Second to none but nepalese Damai.
Only to happen again in Year 2006,
To crush our wishes that irksome Damai. (Becky!)
We have grown.

Yet beyond the triumphs and the doldrums
Nothing can match the exhilaration
of holding a bat and commandeering the play,
especially so, scoring the ecclesiatical home run.
We have grown.

How long has it been, a year or two?
With each of us walking his own way.
Search deep, lurking within us,
lies an earnest desire to rekindle the past.
And we have grown.

Hmm... Soft sport, they brazenly mock,
Unaware of the perils it knocks,
Wait till a softball comes crashing down,
I pray you'll be safe and sound.
They have grown.

And so have we.

P.S. I had a fun time reminiscing all of these fond memories, and really, such words are quite unable to capture the enormity of feelings I have for softball and the 'gang'. I don't ascribe calling ourselves the gang because it's too boorish. Anyway, a picture to remember!

Short post

This shall be my shortest post ever! Stay strong and be healthy and get plenty of rest, fellow petralites and classmates and dear friends! I will remember to pray for you!

Remnants of Cambridge-a delight to the eyes

Whats the fuss about a pile of big rocks? Plenty,
there is an unqueasy energy in this place.
















Looks familiar, hey wait isn't it the harry
potter bridge, without the stream?!
















What a classic, yet imposing abbey. Cut down the trees, chop down the signboard!



Hope it adds life to the blog:)

Relative time, relative importance

Time is said to be relative, that is you use time efficiently, you have more time, you use it inefficiently, you have less time.

I am in short, spending my time on such an array of activities all in the span of a week.

(Pre-U Seminar emcee sessions, SLA Geographic Imaging Systems competition, VJC economics symposium, Who wants to be an Econnaire, Youth Connect exhibition, giving weekly friday tuitions to primary school kids, wushu training 3 times a week, now 4, wednesday morning prayer meetings in school, weekly thursday meetings with Campus Crusade, Investment Cashflow game on Saturday, followed by church till night, Sunday church cancelled due to training, not to mention the crafting of lesson plans, planning of games, and sharing of testimonies)

Couple that with a slew of piping hot tests that spills all over the week and the impending block tests in a week, it could be quite a tramatic experience. However, despite the overwhelming workload, I am still quite stress free, and quite numb overall to the entire experience. By God's grace truly.

How I look forward to Saturdays and Sundays, where I would once again, be restored to strength to strength, as Isaiah 40:31 promises : "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

Friends always remark at how I survive this hectic, frenetic, maniacal schedule of mine, if they can tell or do know, (since I am always so stress free.) Well my God does it for me, and He can for you too :)

I hope that as I take time off to compose this poem , you would also take time off to contemplate on it. My greatest satisfaction would be the elevation of your souls. (hmm) You can try figuring out the rhyming scheme(its quite tough! Took me quite a while to get it, you can doublecheck below)

Look Forward
As we toil in our daily cares,
let us not fall into the snares,
of living an existence
which bears no resemblance,
to what you have in mind.

"Seek me first, and you will find-
fulfillment, love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness and self control "
to say the least.

How I await the great feast!
Where people from every nation,
tribe and tongue,
would gather in unison-
To praise our God in jubilation!

An attempt at a little more complex rhyming scheme, aabbc cdefd dghgg.

Carried in His arms

This is going to be the testimony I am going to share with newcomers and dear friends at my church: Of God's faithfulness and love for me in my lowest of lows since December last year. This account is of course not fabricated in any sort, nor is it supposed to be. THIS is my personal story of how God led me through this tumultuous times and is still carrying me, in His arms.

For many of you, especially those who have known me in school, would unanimously agree that I am of the ENFJ personality type: Loud, straightforward, critical, jovial, intelligent and 'witty'. In church too, I am much the same, though perhaps a bit more reserved. That said, as I begin to familiarise myself with my brethen, I am slowly 'coming out of my shell' and am pretty much the same Chong Lip in school as in church.

It has been 2.6 years since I surrendered my life to Jesus. As I reminisce, it tickles me as to how idealistic I have been: To think that all things would proceed smoothly now that I have become a Christian. I wouldn't be hypocritical and say that God has blessed my family richly or my relationships richly as of now. But He has blessed my life richly, and I can confidently proclaim that He has made me a better person, a wholer person, than before. I would very possibly degenerate to a beastly like thing have I not followed Christ. So, thank you God, for choosing me.

Last december, after I went back home from the 'THINK' camp in church, I found out that my dad has not been at home, for a few days already. He only came back in 2 weeks. And left in the wee hours again. Without a word of notice. He didn't dare look at me in the eye when he came back, it must have been guilt of a strange kind. My father became a stranger to me. My mum, being Mrs Bennet, was hysterical, writhing, going through rages and bouts of depression, worsened by the fact that some friend of hers witnessed seeing my dad with another 'pretty, China woman'. My siblings didn't care, I was the one who tried to console her, to assure her, when I myself struggled inside; I simply could not ascertain that my dad was unfaithful to my mum; That God allowed such a thing to happen in my family . That period as short as 2 weeks could be said to be the absolute worst in my life.

Now, where is God's promise as in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. " I felt battered, wearied, lost, without hope and still, acting as if I am alright and well, outside the confines of my home. How futile it is, how unsustainable, to keep up this double life of mine.

Many times, I asked God. I ask him, why is this happening to me, why do I have to be in this family. I envisioned myself worse off than a starving baby languishing in the slums of Africa. Though he didn't have food, he had not tasted the emotional anguish that assailed me.

I pored over the Bible, read the Daily Bread daily, since there was no one else I could turn to. I didn't know my church friends well enough, and I only told them a slice of what was happening in my family. Grief was my friend.

I began to journal down my thoughts and prayers. I wrote down verses which God revealed to me through His Word, and mediated upon them.

Sunday, December 16, 2007. This was the first verse i jotted down. Psalm 46.10 - Be still, and know that I am God. Indeed, the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12) I felt so strongly God's peace and presence as I quieted down my spirit and just 'Be still'. Even as I am typing this now, God is ministering to me. I was enlightened in a sense, how silly i have been not to hope and trust in God, whom is the creator of Heaven and Earth.

I would also like to share with you another verse from 2 Corinthians 4:8-9- We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. May this bring hope to those of whom are hurting, despairing, for God is always there for you.

Remember the Lord, who is GREAT and AWESOME, Nehemiah(in 4:14) says. Though things are still quite as bad as before, God has heard my prayers and begun a recuperative process in my family. Though the devil continues to throw snares, I can know that what God promised in Jeremiah 29:11 is not a feint one. For this is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us-whatever we ask- we know that we have what we asked of Him. (1 John 5:14-15)

Even if it is restoring peace between my siblings and I, and the reconciliating the relationships between my parents, and even with some of my friends whom I have ignored, God is mighty and able to. Thank you Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.

I hope that you will come to accept God and His love for you. Make a personal choice today, to follow Him.

P.S. Those observant ones would realise that I didnt blog during December, January because I simply wasn't in the best state of mind :p

Bee-sy See-ly Lee-py

Busy as a bee!
no time to pee
I hope in glee
how to be free . ! ?

Oft'n, a poem reflects the poet's state of mind, be it consciously, or semi-consciously.

Vary Valentine~

This day of the year can hardly be more heart fluttering or heart breaking. Thankfully I am none and in between these two extremes.

I would like to take this editorial to thank my beloved friends from A302 for all the ingenuous(and ingenious) letters, which very much fizzled the day for me. By courtesy of Lizzy, I shall reproduce part of her risible poem. (It has no title)

Roses are red
Violets are blue
But mushrooms aren't flowers
And so aren't you!!

What an unconventional twist to an otherwise flaccid poem. By such a mere glimpse of the activity of my classmates, one can hardly not be stupefied by the dynamism and the esprit de corps we share. Thanks A302 for the cherished friendships and partaking in this odyssey with me.

Whilst others are with their sweet hearts, I had a sweet time spent with God, Stephanie and Geraldine. Had half and an hour of animated discussion and prayer. Really excellent time.

Ah, before I sign off, I have this spunky poem for you. No guessing this time, just think about it! Do give feedback! I submitted this poem to the Library Love Poem contest. Haha, only 3 submissions thus far, fancy guesswork will tell you that I may stand a high chance of attaining the voucher!

Ok- Enjoy it, laugh over it and God Bless :)

How LOVE came about

Love drifts in the air
and brushes through my hair.

I chance upon her.
A most exquisite pearl.

Her features so smooth
and exceedingly fair.

Anticipation builds,
tingling. Excitement brews.

My mind overflowing-
Too overpowering

I fall head over heels.
Yes! That is what I feel.

‘‘Take the leap of faith!
Or join the nameless grave.’’

Both our eyes meet-
my heart missed a beat.

Vowels I manage,
Man, do I sound savage!

She gave a smile. A
reassuring, sweet smile.
…
Good night, out of sight-
Our journey takes flight.

For love’s a strange one.
Even I can’t crack it.

P.S. It isn't what I feel about love though. It rarely begins with a 'Love at first sight' syndrome. Sorry to drown your utopia. Love is more complicated than this :p (refer to earlier post)

Back with a Vengeance?

After a long hiatus, of say 3 odd months, I have returned to the blogosphere. Alas, with such a freedom of expression in a blog, it is indeed poses as an irresistable threat/allure.
Life has been insufferable at some points or another the past months, which delivered a major stab into my blogging endeavours. So, with the advent of this entry, you may easily postulate that things may have gone for the better, but much waits to be unfolded.
As always, i would like to end my blogs with poems and today i shall attempt to create one, His love, in lieu of Valentine's Day.

His Love
Love of a deepest kind,
Draws us to Him.
Comatose to the human mind;
Even Ah Lim.

No abomination None too great
Nothing, really! Murder! Idolatry!
No exaggeration He forgives, He forgets
Undoubtedly- Unconditionally.

Love of a feeble kind,
Draws me to Him.
Challenges me to will my mind,
To love like Him.

Have fun deciphering who He is! I'm sure some of you would find it easier to guess. Have a loving, blessed day!